Transparency

In the name of transparency, here is a small life update and how things will be changing on the show going forward.

Note - Since recording this, I have decided to try publishing an episode on a five day cycle. It means episodes will be dropping more frequently but falling on different days. Obviously, just check back and listen when you can - I get it, everyone is busy these days! 

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Transcript

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So, in the name of being completely honest with you, which I have to say is kind of a funny phrase, isn't it, when you say you're going to be completely honest? Because honest would imply that you're already being as completely honest as possible. But anyway, it's just one of those funny phrases we say. Um moving on from the English language and its funny ways. Um so basically what I want to say is that in the name of being really honest with you all, I haven't been recording episodes for this podcast for nearly two months, and and a lot has changed in me and my personal life and circumstances. More so internal world than external world. I don't know. No, actually, no, that's not true. A lot has shifted in the external plane too. But what I really want to try and say is that I haven't been recording episodes for a very long time. There's been a pretty significant gap between me and actually picking up the microphone and doing this again. And I wasn't too sure if I actually wanted to come back and do it. I was sort of waiting for that spark to kind of come back. Um, I have spoken a lot previously about, you know, the flow of creativity, and I've really just kind of come to trust myself that I'll go back to something when the time is right. But I was watching the last two episodes that were scheduled for this podcast come closer and closer to being published. And I was like, I really need to start doing something again if I want to stay on track with the weekly episodes. Unfortunately, not even that really could motivate me because I'm in this really strange plane of existence where the usual things that motivate us don't actually motivate me anymore. So I kind of got to a point where I was like, well, maybe I'll just stop it. I'll just delete it, get rid of it, and just say it was like another thing that I've tried to do to reach an audience and it just didn't work. It just wasn't for me. But I was a bit hesitant to do that because I actually like I remembered enjoying doing this. And whilst recently I've become an expert at letting things go in the name of growth and figuring out who I really am, I just didn't really want to do this, do that with the podcast. And so naturally what came to mind was a rebrand. Maybe we should just rebrand it and do something else or different, or I don't know. And after that thought kind of hit me, I was like, oh, well, obviously we'll go to Canber and you know, start designing new logos and everything because that's always fun. And I actually pulled out something with that design like ages ago and was like kind of ready to commit to that new design. And then I kind of came back here and I realized that people had actually been listening to my episodes, and I was like, well, I better not fuck all these people over and confuse them with a rebrand. So I guess I'm kind of stuck now with what I've got, which is fine, it's a good problem to have. So I kind of was like, Well, you know what? Maybe instead of rebranding and refreshing or whatever it was I thought I was gonna do, I was like, well, maybe the first episode of this season, minus the introductory episode from last week, it was should just be about being really freaking honest about where I'm at as a person and a creative. So there you have it. I have been not recording. And so I don't really know what I'm going to do yet. I I think I mentioned the last episode where I had all the episodes planned out in January. It was just like typical old version of me, just love to kind of plan and have everything kind of organized and sorted out. But as I did also mention that last episode, God, I love how things line up in life, is that there really needs to be an essence of flow when it comes to our lives and our creativity. And I think instead of perhaps trying to strangle this podcast in making it something else or rebranding it, what it really needs is a fresh approach from me behind the scenes. So I have decided to basically throw out the outline I had. So this podcast is a novel. Basically, there was a good outline and it's a solid outline. I flicked through it today, and you know, solid, solid things in there that I think would be really interesting to discuss. But I'm going to throw it all away and you know, trust that if something in there is really meant to be discussed, it will hit me at some point over the next six months while I complete season four. But for now, leaning into the whole space of, you know, being in flow with your creativity and being in flow with yourself, I think what I'm gonna do is just completely wing it in the sense that each week from here on is just gonna have to be about something that is just really speaking to me that week and and feels like it should be discussed on here. It's really kind of crazy going from a style of where you have everything outlined and planned so far in advance to just kind of going with, like, you know, I'm just gonna shop and see what happens. And it's scary. Our egos don't really like that. Our brains are always wanting to label things and categorize and schedule and plan, and uh because it creates some sort of safety, doesn't it? You know, if you know what's gonna happen, if you show up and you know what you have to do and what you have to say, it makes it a lot easier, doesn't it? But at the same time, it kind of destroys any sense of authenticity. I'm at a point in my life now where authenticity is just really important. I couldn't have got to where I am today if I hadn't really embraced my authentic self and really worked hard to change my life and the people around me and how I do things to be in alignment with myself. So I guess naturally it only makes sense that now I have to do that with the podcast. So I guess from here we just have to kind of see how it goes. It might work out, might turn to complete shit. That's just always a risk with trying something new, isn't it? But hopefully the quality of the show doesn't get worse. I mean, it feels pretty mid at this point, so I guess it could only really get better. I mean, that's not true. If it's mid, it can kind of fall down completely. But what I'm saying is that I will just be experimenting how it goes with showing up here when something is really kind of pressing on me to say something. I would really like to say that the weekly schedule is going to continue because I think that's just a polite thing to do for everyone who's become accustomed to the weekly schedule. I would like to say that I'm gonna be able to keep that up, but I'm not entirely sure. So I do anticipate that, but at the very least, I think there will be something slightly different about the show and the discussions had. And hopefully, hopefully, you'll still find that interesting and worth your while to listen to.